Get a Draw at the Gabba, and Let the Aussie Press do the Rest

Glenn McGrath famously told journalists prior to the 2005 Ashes series that they would beat England at Lords in the first test, and let the English press do the rest. McGrath ripped through the lineup at Lords, and Michael Vaughan's side came in for some not too gentle ribbing. They went on to win the series after the humiliating defeat, a pretty clear warning if the English were tempted to get too comfortable after a famous draw. But Ricky Ponting's men were the ones getting the roasting, as England recorded only their second draw at the Gabba, having not won at the ground since they last won the Ashes on Australian soil, in 1986/7. Mitchell Johnson, with his pornstar moustache and butterfingers went wicketless, for the first time in his test career. "This is filth from Mitchell Johnson," Nasser Hussain pronounced after Cook walloped him over the covers for four. Perhaps a good shave will do the Australian some good, if he is not dropped first, as he could make way for Doug Bollinger, while Xavier Doherty might be replaced by Ryan Harris.

Yet England must keep any notions of hubris in check. After all, their shortcomings with the ball were clear for all to see, and would have been the talk of the town, if Australia's had not proved itself even more incompetent. After a certain amount of crowing on the Aussies' part, day 5 was especially sweet for England, as records tumbled for Alastair Cook and Jonathan Trott.

The broken records went on and on, much to the delight of Jonathan Agnew, who pointed out the burgers appearing on the big screen. First, Alastair Cook, who became just the fourth English player to score a double century in Australia, joining Tip Foster, Wally Hammond (twice) and Paul Collingwood. He also notched the highest score at the Gabba in a test match, passing Don Bradman's 226 against South Africa in 1931.

The innings was also the first time since 1924 that the first three English batsmen had notched centuries since Jack Hobbs, Herbert Sutcliffe and Frank Woooley managed in at Lords against the South Africans.

Meanwhile the partnership between Trott and Cook set even more records. It passed the record for the highest stand at the Gabba, passing the 307 made by Hussey and Haddin two days earlier. The 329 also passed Hobbs and Wilfred Rhodes' record England stand in Australia made in 1912 at Melbourne.

But the records did not stop there, since it was only the second time in test history that there had been two 300 run partnerships in a match, the other being Lahore in 2006 where Mohammed Yousef and Younis Khan and Virender Sehwag and Rahul Dravid had 300 partnerships for Pakistan and India respectively.

It was also the second time that an Englishman had featured in a 300 run partnerships in back-to-back tests, as Trott had put on 332 with Stuart Broad in his last test against Pakistan at Lords. David Gower was the other man to accomplish that feat, the first being at Edgebaston in 1985 (against the Aussies) with Tim Robinson and the second at the Oval with Graham Gooch.

Trott might count himself fortunate to make his century, considering he was dropped by Clark on 34 and 75, but it has been a superb year for the South African born player, whose average in test cricket now stands at 59.95. He has also played two tests against the Australians and has two centuries to his name.

Meanwhile Ponting was left even more red faced as Cook chipped what might have been a catch to the Australian captain. While replays were inconclusive, Aleem Dar gave it not out, probably on the strength of Ponting's reaction, as his body language seemed to suggest the ball fell short. If he had simply held the ball aloft straight away, and said he caught it, Cook would have probably been sent to the pavilion, but instead he mouthed off when Dar did the only thing he could do in that situation, give Cook not out.

All the Australians had declined to show up to their own ground, and it was the English contingent (probably 8,000 strong) that was heard roaring their approval throughout the day, with spirited chorus' of Barmy Army reverberating around a half empty ground on Monday morning. Thirty years of success seems to have turned Australian cricket fans into a pack of glory hunters.

But the question that will remain before the Adelaide test in three days time is whether England's four bowlers can indeed take twenty wickets. Especially when the groundsman has made the following statement about the pitch (see the first para). Broad and Finn need to bowl more incisively, perhaps Anderson will have more luck, and Strauss needs to come up with alternative game plans for Swann if he does not get an early breakthrough, as he has so often in his test career.

Meanwhile, English cricket fans have been having some fun on twitter, with a certain amount of trolling going on, with one person suggesting to a gullible individual that a sticky wicket is 'a way of catching badgers in English forests.'

Despite a Classy Century Strauss' Inefficiencies as Captain Remain

Jardine captained England in the infamous 'Bodyline' tour

Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook may have put on the highest opening partnership by a pair of Englishmen at the Gabba, passing the previous best, held jointly by Douglas Jardine and Herbert Sutcliffe in 1933 and Geoff Pullar and David Shepherd in 1962, but it will not be that easy to forgot England's impotence the day before.

In the same innings, the two passed Sutcliffe and Jack Hobbs as the most prolific England opening partnership in terms of run scoring.

True, Cook and Strauss' stand showed that Hussey and Haddin's similar partnership was no fluke, but after an hour and a half of fine bowling to start off Friday, the captain lost control of his bowlers.

The most exciting part of the afternoon session yesterday was the giant Gatorade bottle that comes on for the drinks break, while at some point, a sizeable portion of the Gabba crowd had the temerity to chant 'boring, boring' as the English attack lacked any imagination. Despite six wickets, Steven Finn resorted to bowling as far outside Mike Hussey's off stump as he could get away with, hoping to frustrate the Australian into making a mistake.

And Strauss could have stepped in and mixed things up when Graeme Swann, ranked 2nd in the world by the ICC, was being carted around by Hussey and Haddin, implementing a change in tactics, field positioning, switching the spinner to a different end, or even giving him a few overs off and trying something different, like an over or two of Pietersen's off-spin, to see if he could catch the Australian's off guard. A very straight long off was especially needed and could have saved a lot of runs the day before yesterday.

It is fitting to mention Jardine, because he, like Strauss, was more of a general than a cricket captain, leading his team by the book rather than relying on his instincts. Unlike Michael Vaughan, Michael Atherton and Nasser Hussain, their last three long-term test captains, he does not display cricket nouse on enough occasions. His understanding of the deep undercurrents in the game of cricket just is not as deep as they need to be. These sorts of things just cannot be learned.

Also, Strauss needs to be more hard-nosed when it comes to his two reviews. With only two, you are going to waste them if you use them when you desperately want a wicket rather than, not because you think the umpire has made the wrong decision. Umpire Aleem Dar was right to give Hussey not out when rapped on the pads, having heard two noises. The two noises were created by the ball rapping the front, then the back pad, and not the pad, but had England not wasted their reviews earlier, Hussey would have been given his marching orders upon review.

Still, this team may pull off what only one other England team has done in the last twenty-four years, not lose to Australia in Brisbane (in 1998 the heavens opened with four England wickets left, and the match was drawn).

And despite criticism of Strauss, Ricky Ponting arguably committed more errors, as he aims to create history as the only Australian captain to lose three Ashes series. His lack of a leg slip for most of the English innings freed up the openers, while his fields created huge confusion, especially a 7-2 offside field, which made for one very bemused Ben Hilfenhaus.

Dropped catches by Siddle, Clarke and a clanger from Johnson contributed to make a pretty foul day for Ponting, and behind furrowed brows in the press box, some must be wondering if a bevy of stars over his tenure as captain were more responsible for Australian dominance than Ponting's leadership skills.